Monday, December 9, 2013

Shaolin Soccer

Now don't be fooled. Movies about soccer are almost always bad (except Ladybugs which might be the best movie ever. But fuck that Bend it Like Beckham shit). And if you are like me, you generally avoid sports movies.

This is not a sports movie. Well, it is, but it's more of a fantasy kung fu comedy. 
You can expect a lot of kung fu-nny antics like this.
There's two guys: Golden Leg, a former soccer pro who had his knee broken because he threw a game, and Iron Leg, a master of shaolin who seems to spend most of his time collecting cans, wishing for sneakers with no holes in them, and generally being a bum. It just goes to show you, kids, shaolin kung fu just doesn't pay...
You try to get a respectable job with only Shaolin Master as a credential.
...but maybe it can. If these two Legs can just get it together, Golden coaching and Iron shaolining, and beat Team Evil, then maybe everybody will wind up rich.
TEAM EVIL (SPOILER: They are the bad guys and they cheat)
It all gets complicated when Iron Leg sings a song of admiration to a girl with boils all over her face who uses her kung fu mastery to make delicious buns. There's a really bizarre and overly complicated rom-com sideplot here that winds up with the girl shaving her head and saving the day.
"What a beauty."
 If you liked Kung Fu Hustle, this film is just a good and a lot funnier. It relies on totally over-the-top special effects to turn an otherwise b-grade movie plot into a gonzo cartoon of destruction. It pretty much rules. Even my parents liked this one. Fun for the whole family.


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